writes nerdy things, celebrates those things as an English teacher, and is the co-founder of the production house ADK MOGUL. He lives in the mountains. Thanks for reading; feel free to leave a message, and please don't ask if he's D(e)Press(e)d.
I’ve gone slightly unorthodox with my writing prompts, and did a somewhat edited version of this tweet to my class. I had them write the scene, dialogue, whatever behind this one, because Joshua Allen is hilarious and the kids would get a kick out of him. To go along with it, I wrote my own scene. Here it is:
Joshua Allen saunters into Colgate Elementary School in Boulder, Colorado dressed in nothing but grey sweat pants, a ketchup stained wife beater, and his grandmother’s tattered pink bathrobe, a bottle of Tequila Sunrise mix in his left hand, and a pair of green flip flops in the other. He’s singing:
“Oh I’m walking up the dock of the bayyyyyyy / sipping some jjuuuuuiiiccceeee with mah trousers down to my knees…”
“Shhhh!” from the classroom Allen is passing.
He stops, lumbers/staggers towards the door, picks his wedgie, and bellows “YOU SHUSH!” a toxic cavalcade of Chicken McNuggets and peppermint candy erupts from his spittle into the classroom, which responds with nothing but a “EWWWWW!”
He continues on towards his meeting with Little Timmy’s math teacher. He staggers in the door to the classroom where his wife—a staid, sterdy blonde woman in a cashmere sweater and glued (read: moused) hair looks shell-shocked at Joshua. He plops himself down on the plastic orange chair, removes his Ray Ban sunglasses from tangled grey/brown hair and puts them on.
He then addresses the teacher, “What the hell is up.”