I realized something this morning while browsing in the Bookstore Plus. The realization involved my post about Curiosity landing on Mars and saying that the entire concept of my future children being able to see where their father was and what he was feeling in that historic moment is something really amazing in my eyes. Not to be self-serving, but I think last night I finally figured out exactly what the point of all this is supposed to be for me. This blog is supposed to be a diary for my future family, so they can know who I was, who the people I care about were, and where I came from as a result.
I’ve been fascinated with the idea of a genealogical book for the last two years. Like interview my Dad’s mother about where we’re from in Russia and talk to my Mom about our Italian roots and who my ancestors were. But those ships sailed two years ago and I’m not sure how I’ll pick up that thread other than register for ancestry.com, but that feels too easy. The point is I think it is really important that people know where they’re from and who their ancestors were so that we can grow as people and better understand ourselves.
For years, I just kind of did this blog thing willy-nilly, because it seemed like a good idea as a writer to have a blog, just like every other mostly unmotivated writer. It started with this vague idea that it was meant to be a spot for me so people can read what I write about, keep my columnist muscles flexed, but gradually it shifted into more serious territory like being a comic book writer, a literary writer, with a little bit of who I am, while also being an online place for me after someone has read some of my—as yet, unpublished—books. I took myself a little too seriously and let’s face it, the Internet should be anything but taken seriously.
Things changed last night. Suddenly it occurred to me that my future kids will someday be able to look up and see where their father or grandfather was and what he was feeling in a really amazing moment. The other night, this place became about becoming a kind of genealogical artifact to my kids and its purpose now is to give them a look into who their father or grandfather or great-grandfather was, and what I/he cared about and the kind of life he lived before he was married and had kids. So now I really like this idea that my kids and grandkids could call this up as easy as typing in a url, and see what was going on with my life fifty years ago that day. It gives them a connection to who I was before I was their Dad and what I was dealing with. Or maybe more accurately they’ll think a url and this will come up in their contact lenses, because knowing my kids they’ll probably have poor vision.
So that’s what this blog is really going to be about from now on. It’s been going in this direction for most of my online life, but considering I’m a little slow it took me seven years to get here. I want this place to be something for my family and not so much about entertaining or enticing new readers and perhaps gaining the right reader who will want to publish my book some day. I don’t really care about that kind of thing as much anymore, it’s not about you guys anymore, or being a popular or notable writer on Tumblr or something childish like that. It’s about my future family and who I am, who and what I care about so that my kids can look back and see where they come from.
Thanks for reading you guys, I really appreciate it, it’s about to get all Wonder Years up in this place. (I can hear you guys shuddering now, and my future kids wondering what I’m talking about. Here just read this, kids. Shit, now I sound like Ted from How I Met Your Mother and I immediately regret my decision).