The Latest:

This is just a series of notes that I took down while I was in God’s land, NY for a substitute teacher training. 

  • I’ve had pieces of shit look better than this town. 
  • The entire town is a drive-by shooting away from being declared a disaster area. 
  • Hello, my name is Malone, NY and my favorite things are intravenous needles, shotguns, and Golden Anniversary.
  • I think this town has airborne HIV.
  • These people were certified by the University of Phoenix. #academicsnobalert
  • Beer here is $3 dollars. I didn’t know my Jeep was secretly a time machine.