writes nerdy things, celebrates those things as an English teacher, and is the co-founder of the production house ADK MOGUL. He lives in the mountains. Thanks for reading; feel free to leave a message, and please don't ask if he's D(e)Press(e)d.
So these football players were doing that Bubba Gump shrimp thing with dead unicorns (unicorn is the fruit of the sky… unicorn kabobs, unicorn creole, unicorn gumbo blablabla) and she was crying and I could not believe I had moved to Texas at 14 when I’d been dating this INSANELY dishy rugby player from the American school who I’d just heard was seen waiting in the line for the movie theater with this one chick who was 13 (slag!) from the French school and I was obsessing and obsessing and getting a real good lather going and SNAPPED to scream the following: “OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE LEAVE THE SPASTIC ALONE YOU NECKLESS TWATS.” Except that for some reason people in Texas who straight-up strafe vowels, like NBD, pronounce it “TWOTT” and not “TWAATT” and no one had any idea what I was talking about and was so shocked that the token gook thus spake that I felt weirdly compelled to leave but faltered (did that uggo animated GIF up-down thing in my chair for a splitsecond OMGAWG IT WAS LONG ENOUGH) and was so flustered that I flung the door open ON MY FACE and chipped a tooth. I was really popular after that. Oh, and I murdered everyone.
reason one hundred million Mary HK Choi is awesome—this story. I’ve said before I adore her right? Yeah. She rocks.