Bitch, you went to Salon last night; how in the werrrlldddd did you get in? I called Johnnie and he said I totally know Aberdeen at the door and if you give him a hando, he’ll let you in. I replied, in kind, “Muffburger! What kind of Road Person do you think I am?” He said something untoward and not for the golden ears of this here over ninety crowd that is sharing this fine underground trailer. So what did I do? You threatened him with castration? No. I just slipped him a fifskie when I got to the door. A fifskie? What is this the 1930s? Shut up, tampon, SO I get into Salon and fucking Jared is at the bar. Scandal. He’s got his perm all poofed up and I slide in and order a Schlitz, he’s all—you know. Yeah. We get into it and then he decides he’s going to pour his BUD FUCKING LIGHT down my grandmas. What did you do? To say the bare minimum, they are still trying to un-clog Salon’s toilets.